Long distance relationships have the reputation of being fragile and consistent. And not for the wrong reason; it is common to see long-distance couples breaking apart. The problem lies in maintaining excitement and passion when you are so far apart. That problem can be handled with ease if you implement these long distance BDSM ideas!
When you work with a long-distance relationship, the lack of physical presence needs to be dealt with in unorthodox ways. Couples have to experiment with new and unique ways to cope with their sexual needs; especially couples interested in BDSM.
So to help you re-invigorate your long-distance relationship, we have brought you some innovative ideas that you can try. New ideas don’t just bring excitement but also help strengthen the bond even more. Plus, there are options suited to both new and experienced couples.
7 Long Distance BDSM Ideas to Keep the Passion Alive!
1. Remote BDSM toys
Humans have an exciting way of innovating with technology. Like any other field where human intelligence has shown giant leaps in advancement, so has the area of sexual intercourse.
These days you can easily find smart sex toys that can connect remotely with a smartphone. A dom can remotely control their subs vibrator from hundreds of miles away! And the number of new and adventurous scenarios this makes possible is always open for more exploration.
The vibrators can be worn throughout daily tasks without any hindrance, and the dom can control them at will. So the sub will have to deal with unsuspected vibrations throughout the day, and if the dom wills, even orgasms.
You can even use a remote-controlled vibrator when you are masturbating together on a video call. This caters for the space between the couple by giving one partner some more control over the female partner’s orgasm. It will help you feel closer to each other and take care of your sexual needs!
Some very arousing and exciting remote sex toys are:
Lush 3
This is an irresistible love toy that a couple can use, especially where the female is submissive. This is a vibrator that can be inserted in the vagina that stimulates the clitoris too. It operates using its specific smartphone app. You can even set the alarm to wake your sub up with shocks going through her whole body!
OXY Electric Shock Collar
Having control over your sub is one of the main features of a BDSM relationship. While the dominant can control their sub in person using rewards and punishments, it can be tricky over long distances. This collar brings the control right back into the hands of the dominant, quite literally, as just with a tap, they can remind the sub of who is in control.
Cell Mate Chastity Device and Locking Butt Plug
This one empowers female doms to take control of their male subs. The chastity device locks onto the penis of the male partner, and they can only orgasm or touch themselves when the dom allows them to. And using the but plug, the dom can train the butthole of their sub from a distance. These can be fundamentals when it comes to BDSM!
2. Self-Bondage
Bondage is integral to some forms of BDSM relationships. And it is a great tool to exert and allow control. Being long-distance does not mean that you can relieve yourself from that part of your relationship. However, the dominant cannot physically tie up the submissive anymore, and that needs a workaround.
Bondage is a complicated sexual activity. You need to know intricate details about easy-to-do knots and soft ropes, so you do not hurt your partner because of it. You should not try something too difficult too soon, or it may backfire.
Self-bondage is when the sub ties themselves up for the dom. The dominant can guide them through the process to exude control. For the dominant, receiving pictures of their tied-up sub can be very enticing.
You can use self-bondage to create sexual tension, so the dom has something to look forward to when you meet.
3. Orgasm Control
One of the many aspects of sub/dom relationships is the power-play dynamic. With all the consent of the sub, the dom has some exclusive control over a lot of aspects of the sub’s life. And one of them is orgasm control and denial.
When the dom commands the sub not to come for a said time, they allow the sub to get a reward or be punished. The good part is that even being punished is fulfilling for the sub in one way or another.
The dominant can tell the submissive to either not come or ask them to come as many times as possible. This can be very sexually arousing for the couple, especially on a video call session. It builds up sexual tension that both the sub and dom will relieve when they meet.
Another way of orgasm control is if the dom tells the sub to stay on a sex machine for a certain amount of time. The control of the sex machine or dildo can be with the dom, and the submissive has to obey the order of the dom and bear as many orgasms as the dominant wants, or they can take.
4. BDSM Card Games
BDSM card games are a very affordable and straightforward way of keeping the fire of passion alive. There are numerous card games that you can buy online, thanks to like-minded people worldwide. And you can play most of them through an online video call.
There are many levels of intimacy that you can explore with these games. You can go from romantic to full hardcore sexual based on the game you choose. For beginners, “Naked! Strip poker” is a good game. You can also look into “Kinky confessions” if you think you want to go slow at the start.
If you want to go a level ahead and want more role play, you can check out the game “52 Weeks of Romance and Raunchy Games“. It has very kinky suggestions of role play for beginner to kinky levels of BDSM couples.
And finally, if you want games that will introduce the world of self-bondage and punishment to you, you can try “50 Positions of Bondage“. Another game that is great for long-distance BDSM couples is “Bondage Seductions.”
You need to know that you are not bound by the rules of the game; you can always make your own rules and adjustments, making the game more personal. This way, it can add more spice to your daily lives too.
5. Role Playing
You cannot make a long-distance sexual relationship work without even a hint of imagination. Even more so, in BDSM, you need to imagine your partner with you while role-playing. Many types of roles suit subs and doms, and you can find the costumes to match online.
Role-playing allows you to act on the deepest fantasies of your partner by bringing them to life. When you and your partner are role-playing on long distances, you will find yourselves closer. Every detail in role-laying counts as you want to be in the mental fantasy where your partner is with you.
It is more of a psychological thing when it comes to role-playing. You need to know the headspace and feelings of your partner as you paint the picture for them. It might be the most exciting and memorable experience you have ever had in a long-distance relationship if done right.
6. Giving Your Partner Tasks
Long-distance BDSM relationships bring sexy tasks to the table. The dominant can assign the sub some sexual tasks that they have to complete. Failing to do so, the sub may have to face a sexually charged punishment for their failure.
An example will be if the dom tells the sub to masturbate in a public restroom. The dom would require proof in the form of a video or audio of the deed. If the sub fails to do that, they can be restricted from having an orgasm for a few days as a punishment.
Or maybe the dominant can give the task of restraining from having an orgasm for a while. If the sub completes the task, the dom can visit them and give them oral as a reward!
The only limit to the tasks that you and your partner have is what you can imagine. This can be one of the most exciting and fun ways to keep your long-distance BDSM relationship intimate and compelling.
7. Giving Each Other Gifts
Rewards are fundamental to BDSM relationships. You cannot have a sub/dom relationship without rewarding the orders that the sub obeys. Gifting sex toys or lingerie that the sub can use in video sessions with the dom are good gifts to give. You can even get remote sex toys or massage candles for your sub.
When a dom sends a gift because they want to reward the behavior of their sub, it can be very encouraging and fulfilling. When a dom shows that they care about their sub, and vice versa, it can be very arousing. These little reminders are what show the partners that they value and miss each other’s presence.
5 Things to Consider Before You Get Into Long-Distance BDSM
No relationship can be purely sexual. There has to be some amount of care and understanding to make relationships work. This is especially true for long-distance ones. So you need to be mindful of these five things to make sure your bond is as healthy as possible:
1. Keep Your Partner Updated
While good morning and good night texts seem insignificant, they can make a lot of difference in a long-distance relationship. After a tiring day, when your partner hits the bed, a good night text can make them feel like you are there for them.
Long-distance relationships especially take a toll when you are in different time zones. You would have less common time with each other to talk. At times you might miss updating your partner entirely because of an arduous daily schedule. You would probably have to explain to your partner a lot, which may lead to a quarrel.
You do not want to take a jab at something you have worked hard to build. So take some time out of your day, and tell them about what’s going on.
2. Make Use of All the Connectivity Your Phone Offers
Texts, voice messages, photos, and videos are your best friends when being together physically is not possible. You must have felt it yourself too, when you get a video or a photo from your partner, the feeling that it might be something sexy is very electric, especially when it is followed up by a racy message.
Being skilled at sexting is something that will take you a long way in your long-distance relationship. The better you express yourself, the better your partner will be able to imagine your words. And imagination is the centerpiece of having a long-distance sexual relationship.
You can take things up another level by masturbating together on a video or voice call. It makes the experience all the more real and satisfying!
3. Plan to Meet Up Once a While
The distance is painful to bear, especially if you care a lot for your partner. And it can be even more demoralizing when you don’t really know when you would see them. Insecurity can lead to bigger and more challenging problems to deal with.
The best thing you can do for yourself and your partner is to keep a date in mind when you two meet. Even if it isn’t very soon, it will give you both a goal to look up to. Just like you wait for the weekend the whole weekday, your tentative meet-up will fuel anticipation and keep you both excited.
To make the feeling even stronger, you can use the time to build sexual tension. This will not only keep your partner’s mind away from any corrupt thoughts but keep them thinking about you most of the day. One way you can do that is by the sub sending pictures wearing lingerie gifted by the dom.
As the dom pictures you in it, you can talk about what you will do to each other when you meet. And when you eventually do meet, make sure to pay out all the fantasies you planned in your time away!
4. Acknowledge Each other’s Love Language
There are five common types of love languages that you should know before committing to a long-distance relationship of any kind. They are words of affirmation, acts of service, giving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Your partner must prefer one over the other, and some might be meaningless to them.
Knowing each other’s love language correctly In a BDSM relationship will allow you both to be better in your roles as dominant and submissive. Being in any relationship requires you to be open to compromise for each other’s differences. Relationships work when both partners put in an equal effort!
5. Know the Value of Aftercare
BDSM relationships have a reputation of getting harsh, primarily if the dominant is used to giving punishments or the submissive has a bratty attitude. So it is all the more important to make sure you don’t accidentally hurt your partner’s emotions or be too rough on them during your bondage sessions.
Physical comfort is one of the main ways to give aftercare. In long-distance relationships, it becomes complicated to provide that regularly. So it would be a good idea to give your partner a stuffed animal or assign a pillow that would signify physical comfort.
If you plan on giving your submissive a harsh self-punishment that may include spanking, you should make sure you provide them with something to cure and heal that pain beforehand. You need to check on each other after a while, too, as in the heat of the moment, something might feel fine, while later it might not.
Even though BDSM is considered hardcore compared to regular sexual intercourse, it is never acceptable to neglect someone’s emotional and mental health.
Be Careful in Your BDSM Adventures!
BDSM might be the most disciplined form of sexual activity. You need to have proper rules and boundaries that you have to respect at all costs. One of the many things that BDSM relationships flaunt are safe words. These are integral to the communication between the dom and the sub for when things need to be toned down.
The safe word allows the sub to know that even they are in control of a situation if it is too much to handle. And the immediate concern shown by the dom as a result of the safe word reminds the couple that there is love and care between them, no matter what the situation of rewards and punishments may be.
Good dominants make sure that their sub is both comfortable and safe with their sexual activities. Things like starting slow and building up can make a lot of difference in the experience overall. The dom should know bondage techniques that would not bother the blood flow to the subs body parts.
Trust is one of the most vital aspects of a BDSM relationship. And long-distance relationships can be challenging for subs and doms. Just by proper communication and a little effort, no hurdle cannot be crossed. If you carefully implement the information above, you might enjoy the relationship both physically and mentally!