It is usual for couples who have been married for many years to fall into a routine. It goes like getting up every morning, taking care of daily chores, picking up the kids from school, and repeating it all the next day. While stability might be good for your everyday life, your sex life demands diversity. And there are a lot of things a woman can do to spice up the bedroom for diversity!
While you may deem it unnecessary to have sex regularly, a lot of researches suggest otherwise. Sex is an aerobic activity, and it can be great for your heart health. It literally burns almost 180 calories every time you do the deed!
Regardless of the physical benefits, couples having sex regularly are much happier than those who don’t! Sex releases endorphins. They are the “feel-good” hormones of the brain—they even lower the chances of depression and anxiety.
Things a Woman Can do to Spice up the Bedroom
So by now, we have established that it is vital for you to have a healthy sex life! But with your daily routine, you can’t figure out how to bring it back on track. Don’t worry; it is never a lost cause! Here are a few things you can do as a woman to get things hot and heavy in the bedroom:
1. Wear Lingerie Regularly
Is your lingerie sitting in the back of the cupboard just waiting to see the light of day? Honestly, it is not surprising. Many couples fall prey to the dull and mundane life of stability. But it does not have to be that way for your sex life!
So start wearing sexy things more often. Try wearing the set of underwear your partner likes underneath your outfit. Or better yet, when you think your partner is coming back home, wear your lingerie! You do not have to slip in your lingerie every time you plan to have sex. Surprise your man by taking off your clothes and revealing that you were wearing it all along!
2. Track the Days You Have Sex
Why is this necessary? Because sometimes you are so busy with your routine that you forget that you haven’t touched your partner in weeks! When your sex life takes such a sudden dip, you need to do something to save it. Many applications can help you keep track of that on your smartphone.
You can use them as an alert to do something that turns your partner on. You can always use a code word if you are worried that someone might find out you have been keeping track of your sex life.
3. Use More Lube
Lube can do wonders for your sex life. While most people see it just as a liquid that makes sex more comfortable, it can make it more pleasurable too. Lube increases friction for both partners while decreasing the discomfort at the same time.
You get more orgasms and an overall better sexual experience using lube. You can choose any lube that you prefer, oil-based or water-based. But steer clear of silicone-based lube if you plan to use silicone sex toys!
4. Get Sex Toys
When most couples get together, they feel that the sex toys are of no use any longer as they have the real thing. In fact, this feeling can be so strong that people feel guilty if they pleasure themselves without their partner! But sex toys were never labeled as tools for solo pleasure.
Introducing sex toys into intercourse with your partner can be a hard talk to have. But if you both understand each other, your sex life can take the spicy turn so needed! You can bond with your partner over browsing for the suitable toy online. Or even if you don’t choose one together, you can get one yourself and surprise your partner with it!
5. Improve your Foreplay
Foreplay has a very critical role in how good the resulting sex would be. A good session of foreplay brings out the sex drive in a couple and gets your body ready to enjoy what is coming after it. But with time, the concept of foreplay loses its appeal as it is the same thing each time: kissing and taking each other’s clothes off.
Change it up a bit; try massaging each other with oil or talking dirty to your partner. Foreplay does not mean that you have to take your clothes off. Learn a few mental tricks that you can use to turn you and your partner on.
6. Get Your Partner to Play a Sex Game Together
Sex does not have to be something that you do before you go to sleep. You can make it a whole part of your daily routine when your partner comes home from work. You can go to the bedroom and get comfortable when your partner has had dinner and has you caught up on their day.
Play a classic game of strip poker, get erotic cards or play sexy truth or dare. There are countless options for you to choose from just if you check online! Make clever and suggestive comments and slowly make it sexy. Before you know it, they won’t be able to keep their hands off you!
7. Add Quickies in Your Life
Sex does not always have to be this grand act with a whole aura and scented candles. It would help if you changed up the things a little. Try being spontaneous, and instead of saying that you will get to it later, grab him as soon as you feel the slightest urge to get things moving.
Have sex as soon as you wake up, or if your partner comes home early and the kids still have some time at school. Sex does not mean having hour’s long pleasure sessions every time. Sometimes making it quick in thrilling situations can be the spark you need in your sex life!
8. Get Out of the Bedroom
Ironically, one of the best things you can do to spice things up in your bedroom is to get out of it! You have the whole house to yourself, don’t you? So make use of every piece of furniture you have! Go at it on the couch like a bunch of high-school sweethearts. Lie down on a table and let him ravish you!
You need to break out of routine as much as you can for your sex life. If your kids are fast asleep and you know it, make use of the time you have. They don’t sleep for long!
9. Show Appreciation
Your sex life is a direct indicator of how your relationship with your partner is going. A happy sexual relationship often means a happy relationship as a couple. So if you feel that your sex life has taken a toll over the years, try strengthening your bond with your partner. Thank them more often, tell them you love them, and make them feel wanted!
You can even do all this in bed! Remind your partner of things they did that you liked. Tell them how much they mean to you after or even during sex. You can even do this during sexting! It is never the wrong time to tell your partner how much they mean to you.
10. Schedule Sex
This is almost the exact opposite of all the above, but it’s like a last resort. Your partner will agree to have sex with you even if they would have said no otherwise. You can have a shared calendar on which you can mark the days you two will have sex.
This way, you can build up excitement and wake up the morning of the marked day knowing that it will end in sex. You can talk about it, teasing each other and creating sexual tension. This can be very healthy for both your sex life and your relationship.
11. Try Something New
There is just so much sexual pleasure that you can get from the same positions and sexual routine. Try to change things up a little, and explore things you have never tried before. Try blindfolds and different positions. If you really want to experiment with something new, try a sex swing, you both might fall i love with all the new possibilites it opens for you.
12. Surprise Him with a New Oral Technique
If your partner is ready to try a blindfold that is all the better. A blindfold can make the sensory experience all the more overwhelming. If you couple the blindfold with a new oral technique that your partner has never felt before, your partner will be squealing with pleasure before you know it.
There are a lot of tongue tricks such as the sliding shaft and the soft sandpaper. Once your partner gets a feel of them, they will be begging you for more! And you can always use that to your advantage! Give him what he wants when he is ready to give you something you want!
Things a Couple Can Do to Create More Heat in the Sheets
It’s not just the job of one of the people in a relationship to make sure the sex life is healthy between you two. You both can do stuff as a couple, too, that can spruce up your sex drives. Here are a few things you can try:
1. Make Time for Romantic Activities
One of the best things you can do as a couple is to put effort into making time for each other. There are many ways to please one another as a couple, and not all are sex-related. Be romantic and try to connect. Get a book on romance such as 8 Erotic Nights, and take turns to do an activity that you mutually decide on!
2. Watch a Sexy DVD
Have you ever tried it before? If you haven’t, you must try to remember the times when you couldn’t resist pleasuring yourself after watching a porn film. While you do not necessarily have to watch porn with your partner, you can pick out an X-rated movie that you both can enjoy and get turned on while watching!
3. Make Out Like Teenagers
At the beginning of a relationship, you can barely have your hands off each other, especially if you are alone. You kiss, hug, and cuddle so often initially, but gradually it all dies out because of the mundane daily routine.
Bring back that teenage heat; kiss your partner as you are kissing them for the first time. Get a little cheesy and hold their hand; look at them like they are the hottest thing in the world. All these little things will rejuvenate the sexual attraction that you and your partner have long forgotten.
4. Tell Each Other Your Fantasies
There are so many fantasies that we envision as teenagers. Maybe you are into bondage, or perhaps you have a particular fetish. Couples shy away from talking about these as they do not want to be embarrassed. But on the contrary, speaking about your fantasies can come off as sexy!
Discuss your fantasies with your partner in detail and insist that they talk about theirs too. When your partner tells you about their fantasies, plan and play them out for them. You will see that it does wonders to bring back the lusty sessions of sex you are missing!
5. Consult a Therapist
Even if you try all that, there is a chance you may not be able to get that teenage sexual tension back. But that does not mean it is lost forever. Therapists exist for this very reason; to help you figure out what’s wrong and help you out of a rut. Therapists can educate you and help you understand why you are feeling a certain way.
Don’t Miss Out on Good Sex
Sex has too many physical and psychological benefits to let it slowly fade out of our lives. It is essential for the strength of your relationship as well as your whole family. New experiences in the bedroom are what keep your sex life interesting. So don’t let yourself fall into a very scheduled or predictable cycle, especially in the bedroom (we cannot stress this enough!).
Bringing new things into your sex life does not mean that you have to force yourself to do something you are not comfortable with. Discuss with your partner what works for them, and tell them what turns you on. Different people are looking for different things in sex; make sure you and your partner are on the same page!
Never let your sexual fire die!