Want to “satisfy” yourself using a dildo but can’t get hold of the real deal? Whether it’s laws, social customs, holding back your access to a dildo, there are still ways to pleasure yourself.
Let’s take a look at things to use as a dildo, and how they can simply be common household things!
However, the key here is safety. Before we give in to our bout of horny-ness and put things in there, we have to make sure it’s safe to use.
So, with pleasure and safety in mind, let’s get to MacGyvering a dildo for our pleasure!
Homemade Dildos: Safety And Hygiene Considerations You Should Check And Double-Check
How To Make A Homemade Dildo: The Key Factors
Before anything comes near the vagina, we’ve got to make sure that it’s safe. And that it will stay safe throughout the activities. It’s a delicate organ, and anything that’s going to touch it or go near it must be safe.
The vagina has a delicate pH balance that shouldn’t be affected by the makeshift dildo. That can cause health issues if not handled properly. Bacterial and yeast infections aren’t something we’d ever want to risk. Similarly, anything that can cause injury is a big no.
Goes without saying, but you don’t want anything that can break either. That’s going to be a very embarrassing and traumatic visit to the ER.
Of course, hygiene rules apply here too. Anything that can give you an injury or risks bacteria and infection is a big no.
Here’s a quick roundup of things not to use:
- Can the object transmit bacteria or cause an infection?
- Does it contain any harmful chemicals (parabens or phthalates)?
- Can it break?
- Is there a risk of injury?
- Does it have any risky edges or rough parts?
Another thing is the size and accessibility of the dildo. You don’t want it so small that it becomes difficult to retrieve. You don’t want anything that risks getting stuck either.
In the vagina, the cervix will protect anything from moving further. However, you don’t want to risk anything like random parts floating around. That increases the risk of infection and injury.
Factors To Especially Consider For Anal Dildos
If the dildo is meant for your anus, you need to be a lot more careful. Sex toys for the anus usually have a flared base that prevents the toy from entering the anus and thus keeps it retrievable.
If you’re using a makeshift dildo for the anus, always ensure that it doesn’t go completely into the anus. It must remain easily retrievable and never be in a situation that risks the sex toy going completely into the anus.
While the vagina has the cervix to block objects, the anus has no such barrier. It continues to the colon and to the lower intestine. If the sex toy is irretrievable from the anus, that’s most likely going to result in a visit to the hospital.
Clean It Before And After Use
We can all agree, hygiene is the name of the game here. I’ve talked about keeping the dildo hygienic a few times already, and I’ll stay on that for longer. Because hygiene is absolutely non-negotiable.
We want to have fun with the dildo, not risk our health!
Anything you choose for the homemade dildo (even seemingly harmless things like cucumbers) can have external contaminants on it. Farm produce may have pesticides and such, other objects around the home might have dust, bacteria, and other contaminants.
All this makes it necessary to clean the dildo before use.
If the dildo is non-porous, rinse it under water and let it sit in a 10% bleach solution for a few minutes. Then rinse it with water again. Repeat this process after using it.
If it’s possible to boil the dildo in hot water, do that. Of course, this assumes you’re using a material that can handle heat.
For everything else, thorough rinsing followed by a hygiene or sanitizing spray should be acceptable.
Put A Condom On It
Using condoms is a simple way of protection not just for sex, but for sex toys too! Wrap the DIY dildo in a condom, and most of your worries for hygiene and safety can go away.
Remember that condoms can be slippery. So, don’t cover the dildo completely with the condom. Leave some room where you can hold the dildo securely and maneuver it without a problem.
Can’t use condoms or don’t have access to them? Consider non-porous but smooth alternatives.
For example, cling film (plastic wrap) can work, but you’ll have to use it more inventively. Make sure there are no tough edges or cuts anywhere, which can be uncomfortable or lead to injury.
Lubricants Are A Good Idea
Whether you’re having sex or using a sex toy, using lubricants is always a good idea. It makes the experience so much easier and enjoyable.
Silicone lubricant is usually a good idea. Water-based lubes are better because they’re easier to clean and handle once you’re done. You could use oil-based lubes too, but they increase the risk of condoms tearing. However, for many dildos, a minor tear in a condom may not be a problem – this will depend on the type you’re using.
Other lubricants worth considering are pure coconut oil and olive oil. Pure aloe is another useful lube. When using any of these, remember that you’ll have to put some effort into cleanup later.
10 Things You Can Use As Homemade Dildos
1. Unpeeled Banana
The phallic shape of bananas has afforded them some notoriety for use as homemade dildos. And they are quite good at their job of pleasuring women when used as dildos.
Prefer unripe and curved bananas. Unripe bananas are stiffer and retain their shape. The curve really helps with stimulation and hitting the g-spot.
Put a condom on the banana and use some lube to ensure it moves smoothly. Your dildo is ready!
Never peel the banana when using it as a dildo. It will squish or break and that will cause problems. You also don’t want the sugar in bananas to be in contact with the vagina.
2. Cucumber Or Zucchini
A thick and firm cucumber looks exactly what you’d want from a dildo. Besides, cucumbers have naturally bumpy skin, so they help with stimulation!
Choose the size and thickness that works for you, wash it, and put a condom on it. Using a condom is better for hygiene and safety here, since the cucumber might break. Add a lubricant for more fun!
3. Electric Toothbrush
Electric toothbrushes have a thick body, which makes them pretty useful for use as a dildo. Besides, they vibrate, so the stimulation can extend to use as a vibrator as well.
They’re good for insertion, but you could also use an electric toothbrush for clitoral stimulation (and it works wonders there)!
These brushes often have nooks and pieces for batteries, or rubber parts for grip. That texture also makes them good for use as a dildo. However, that’s also why it’s important to wrap them in a condom first.
That rubber is usually porous and will harbor germs and bacteria. The converging points of different materials, like plastic and rubber, will also hold fluids (including vaginal fluids) and be near-impossible to clean.
So yeah, even if you think you can keep an electric toothbrush exclusively for use as a dildo, you’ll have to wrap it in a condom.
4. Hairbrush Handle
The hairbrush handle is another old and famous thing that’s known for use as a dildo. The handle is usually thick, often with grooves for a grip. Both these things bode well for the use of the hairbrush as a dildo.
5. Candles
Candles work remarkably well as dildos and you can have several in your home without exciting suspicion. They’re used for decor and lighting all the time!
Choose a candle that’s the right thickness for you. Perhaps experiment a bit to get what you want. Enjoy the candle dildo!
6. Carrots And SImilar Veggies
Carrots, radishes, or similar vegetables are all the same and they can all work as decent dildos. You could use a single carrot or a bunch, depending on their size. Wrap them up in a condom and get ready for some fun time.
7. Eggplant
Here’s another famous phallic vegetable you can use. The eggplant has become synonymous with something to use as a dildo. People often use the eggplant emoji to represent a phallic shape.
So it shouldn’t be a surprise that you can use this vegetable as a dildo. Be sure to choose the right size and go slow at first, just to be sure of the stiffness and toughness of the eggplant when inserted in the vagina.
8. Corn On The Cob
Corn on the Cob or even just the cob are things suitable for use as a dildo.
While there are a few unusual things used as a dildo on this list, the idea of corn on the cob as a dildo always cracks me up. Perhaps it’s the mental image of the shiny yellow grains on the cob making their trip inside the vagina.
The cob or corn, fresh plucked from the plant also tends to have small, kind of unkempt hair. Are those pubes? Now the chuckle-inducing imagery of the phallic corn is complete!
9. A Right-Sized Massager
Did you know that one of the most famous vibrators, the Hitachi Magic Wand, was intended to be used as a massager? In fact, the company was not happy at all when they learned that the massager was more popular as a vibrator! They eventually ended up selling it to another company.
The moral of the story?
Massagers work as wonderful vibrators and dildos. If you’re going to use one for clitoral stimulation or use it internally, remember to use a condom.
10. Makeup Brush Handle
Makeup brush handles are usually small and thin. Although, if you shop around, you’ll likely find something with more girth and a better chance of pleasuring you. These don’t arouse suspicion and are often quite pleasurable for use as a dildo.
Things To Avoid Using As Dildos
Now that we have a run down of things you can use as a dildo, here are a few things you should avoid. Some of these are often seen as “passable” for the purpose, but they’re best avoided anyway.
- Ice: Using ice as a dildo or clitoral stimulation is going to be uncomfortable at best. You also run the risk of getting ice burns, which are quite painful to deal with.
- Spoons: These are thin and can have edges that are too uncomfortable for use internally. Besides, they’re too thin to provide any real pleasure.
- Screwdriver handle: Not worth it, the risk of injury is too high.
- Other tools or hammer handles: Nope! My legs clenched just writing this!
- Handle of a saucepan: Hilarious as the mental imagery is, it’s really not a good idea.
- Shampoo bottles: This is more of those maybes. The bottles can be too thick and hard to be comfortable.
- Drumsticks: When wrapped in a condom, they might be okay. Otherwise, they’re too sharp and troublesome.
- Pens: This is another maybe. A few pens wrapped in a condom can work. Ensure there are no jagged or rough edges.
Having Fun Using Easily Available Things As Dildos
When you want to have some fun and don’t have access to a real sex toy, there are several things to use as dildos that are readily available. However, remember to use them wisely and keep hygiene and your personal safety in mind.
There are several objects to use as a dildo and this article includes many examples. It’s always a good idea to cover them with a condom to ensure safety and hygiene. Your health is as important as your pleasure. I’d say it’s more important.